Kindergarten Funnies


my little apple pickers
Could they be any more different?

I got the chance to volunteer in Piper’s classroom today.  In my first 3 minutes there, I was approached by a student. “Are you a teacher?  I need my shoe tied.”  Love them.  How can you not love those little munchkins.  I told him that I wasn’t a teacher, but very capable of tying his shoe.  I’m loving Piper’s teacher.  I told her that we went apple picking this weekend and that I would be willing to bring in apples if she wanted to have the kids taste the different types.  She said she had it in her plans to do on Tuesday afternoon and would I like to teach the lesson.  Absolutely!  Piper was giddy with excitement over having me in her class.  I was among other parents during center time, and then I joined the kiddos for lunch, and came back to the classroom for our apple tasting and graphing lesson.  I thought it was pretty great that Mrs. Boyd offered to have me there and I want to take the opportunity to be involved because I am sure there will come a time when she won’t want me there (let’s hope not for many years).  As I was helping the kids out at my center, a student Brooke (she has the same middle name as me too) told us that once when her parents were in Las Vegas and her grandparents were watching her she had to have surgery because she broke her arm.  It’s amazing how much you can find out from them in such a short amount of time.  And then Adam, processing the information said, “So that’s a fake arm you have?”  Teachable moment:  you don’t lose your arm when the bone breaks.  It actually fuses back together thank goodness.  I am sure Mrs. Boyd comes home with funny stories like that daily.

Well, the kids were measured today to see “how many apples tall” they were.  Piper is officially the smallest in the class.  Good thing she has a big personality to make up for it.  The funny thing is on the first day of school she said, “Mom, there is this girl Hannah in my class and she is just so cute.  She is really tiny and is just the cutest.”  Newsflash Piper, you’re really tiny and maybe I’m biased, but you are also so cute.

Piper asked me if I had any of my work from kindergarten.  So this weekend we went through the shed and found some work from my elementary days.  Check it out:

“I love my Mom ’cause she lets me sleep in her bed.  Sometimes I hear noises.”

We won’t go into detail about what those noises were.  Their bedroom window backed up to a fairly busy street and both of my parents snored.  Yea, let’s hope that’s what I was talking about.

Man, what a bummer that would be if God made midgets that way and then didn’t love them.  That would stink.

“I like my face.  My eyes used to be hazel but not anymore.  The curlers made my hair curly.  My nose used to be just a dot but now I know how to make noses.”

That’s right.  No more dot noses, I have upgraded to the less than symbol.

St. Hedwig is the best school because.  At public schools they can’t learn about God.  The teachers don’t care as much.  And that’s why I’m glad I go here.

Just a little brainwashing, that’s all.  Let’s hope I got it from my sisters or something and not my teachers.  Kind of ironic that I became a public school teacher I guess.

This one is a favorite.  It is from 2nd grade.  Help my dad to stop smoking and help me not fight with my sisters (a recurring prayer on my papers.  I must not have been praying to the right saint.)  You’re my favorite saint and always will be so, please be helpful, got it?  Okay.  Piper asked me why all my work was so Jesus-y, I should have just told her it was because my teachers cared more ;).

Also in my box of stuff was this picture of me at my first dentist appointment.  I look totally freaked out and it possibly could have something to do with the life-size doll standing next to me.  Anyway, the date said, October 1, 1985.  Piper had her first dentist appointment yesterday, exactly 1 week earlier than mine in our kindergarten year.  Kinda weird.

Some kids make you feel good about yourself.  Mom, you’re the prettiest, smartest, best singer in the whole world.  Not my Piper, she brings me back to reality all the time.  She told me I look chubby in this picture and that I must have been pushing out my stomach.  Seriously?  Come on, besides the deer in the headlights pose, I thought I looked pretty darn normal.  Not everyone gets to be the smallest in the class.


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